Things that piss me off!

So, I must have turned 60 this year. Music is too loud, kids are walking on my lawn, and yesterday I noticed that my pants have creeped up to the middle of my chest...it's kind off nice having pockets under your armpits...very convenient.

But I have noticed that a TON of things pissed me off!

Lets start today with Parent Magazines. These are the magazines that are all over every Doctors office in every state! These magazines seem to think that all "good" parents spend 100% of every day focused on their children. They are action packed with articles about how to govern and plan every aspect of your kids lives. Ugh! That pisses me off. Does it make me a bad parent jsut because I don't setup playdates for my kids?

In fact, I'm not even sure where my son is right now. I hear a TV and furniture crashing over, but no screaming yet, so I assume he's not seriously injured....good enough for me!

Also, these magazines seem to think that Dads are idiots who know NOTHING about children. This might be true for some guys out there, but to assume we are all morons is condescending and ludicrous.

Wait....I hear screaming........

I'm back....He was screaming "Swiper No Swiping!" at the TV. (I hate Dora. That's another article though...check back later on my Dora the Exporer Expose': The evil within)


So while I was on my Throne this morning, I read an article in "BabyTalk" that was sitting in the bathroom (my reading room). The label says "Reception Room copy" and I'm pretty sure my wife stole it from the OB's office last week.

Anyway, it has an entire article explaining why Dad's suck at dealing with the kids. It tells it's readers why Dad's can't remember the size or brand of diapers their babies where, and why they can't get groceries properly. It is 4 pages of crap, dedicated to apologizing for a Dads ineptitude.

So what if I can't rememberr whether to buy the kid size 3T 4T, or 4 regular pants! Who cares.
I'm buying the camo pants, and if they don't fit, well Thats what saftey pins and duct tape are for! Right? Besides, that's why I have a wife, to remember all that junk.

Ok, mothers out there, quick, what size air filter does your A/C unit need? Or what size string do you need for the weed eater? Which kind of oil is in your car right now?

Ha! My air filter is 21" x 19" x 1". That's why you have a husband...

See, it all works out....