Well, if you are doing everything you are supposed to do, and following all the rules, you are on the WRONG track. Here is a beginners guide to really screwing up your kids.
Getting rid of that pesky Self Esteem
Kids have TOO much self-esteem these days. They think the world revolves around them. They are happy and well adjusted. They need to be knocked down a peg. Try these tips:
- At least once a day, tell them they suck at something!
- Remind them they are too short to reach things...put their toys way up high!!
- Tell them to make their own lunch...you're to busy.
- When they draw you a picture, critique it, and make them go do it over. THEY HATE THIS! he he he!
Kids are easily frustrated. This one is fun for the whole family
- Tell them that tomorrow is Christmas.
- Tell them their birthday was yesterday and you forgot it. Better luck next year.
- Tell them that when Mommie gets home, she's bringing presents (with this one, you get to see your wife skwerm!)
- De-program the remote, and block all the cartoon channels. Nothing is funnier than watching a kid whine as they flip through 30 channels of news! he he he
- Blind-fold them, spin them around and tell them they can have a cookie if they get to the kitchen in 10 seconds...! (my favorite)
Nothing keeps a kid on their toes like jumping out from the closet after they have gone to bed...
- when they are in the bathtub, turn out the bathroom light!
- Ditch them in the store.
- Go to pick them up and school, and drive away without them...
- Send them out to the backyard to check for prowlers in their PJs.
Remember, these are just he beginner tips, once you have these mastered, you can go on to the Advance course in Bad Parenting.
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