No Dating till you are 40!

My daughter has taken an interest in all the teenager shows on the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. She's only 8! Geesh! I'm not ready for this! She thinks Troy from High School Musical is CUTE! I can threaten local boys, but how do you defend against TV boys?

I suggested taking the TVs out of the house, home schooling her. But OH NO, the wife says

"Chill out, she's a girl, girls like boys. You can't stop it."

Well, if you've read my previous posts, you know. I am the smartest man alive. I'll keep her from dating until she's 40, or I die. Whichever comes first.

But how? They don't have good ole Convents like they used to. Chaining your child up in the shed is frowned upon....geesh.

I'm a boy, and I know how boys think! I need to keep her as far away from boys as possible! If only I could afford to move the family to the rain forest. Of course then she'd start getting all googly-eyed at native jungle boys! They hardly wear any clothes!

Does anyone know what the housing market is like in Siberia? I hear it's "crisp" this time of year!

I predict turning gray, and having a heart attack before she turns 12.

I tried searching google for a tutorial on building a moat. But OH NO, stupid building code people are so uptight!