Ask a Genius! (Part 3)

More questions! They just keep coming in!
Send your "Ask a Genius!" question to recon_ice@yahoo.com


I have three more questions from an anonymous writer.

1. why do husbands think we will have sex with them after they have been grouches all day to us?

I need to answer this is two parts.

First. Men are horn-dogs. Period. It's in our nature. God made us that way for a reason. Imagine if trying to get Men to procreate was like trying to get them to clean out the garage. The human race would be dead in a generation. Sorry ladies, but men MUST be horny for the good of humanity.

Second, and a little more psychoanalytical. The marriage relationship is mutual. The huge benefit is that two people "become one". Meaning they can rely on the other, share secrets, fears, joys, etc. This is intimacy in all it's glory. Intimacy is vital to health. Being able to completely rely on someone else completely, makes you stronger as a person.

Stick with me here. People feel love in different ways. For some, it's physical, (a touch, holding hangs, hug, etc.) for others its a thoughtful gift, or it could be words spoken, or just time spent together. You show love the way you want to get it. And the chances are that your spouse is different, and shows love the way he wants to get it.

Moving along. A wife provides her husband with support. The one person in the world who will always have his back, and stick with him no matter what. (There are exceptions, I know.) On those days when the whole world is out to get you, at least your wife is on your side. It is especially on those days that a man is the grouchiest and in the worst mood. At the close of the day, he might just turn to his wife for comfort. Sometimes physical.

You probably wouldn't expect a man to say "Honey, can I talk with you about my emotional turmoil?".

Psychobabble aside, men also know that the more you ask, the more often you get a yes. It worked with dating. The more girls you ask, the better your odds of a yes. Just basic statistics!



2. why can't guys pee with the toilet seat (not lid) down. seriously what's the difference in the circumference of the toilet with the seat up and down? is the aim that bad they can't handle the extra 1/2 in smaller?


Guys can and will. We have been asked not to by our spouses. The circumference does not matter. In fact, there have been studies where when presented with a target, men can and will aim for it. Every time. The problem is "over spray". Women love to bash men for this, BUT try this first:

Put a large bucket in the middle of your living room. From across the room, fill the bucket with a garden hose, without getting any on the carpet, furniture, etc. You will not have a problem hitting the target, but you will definitely notice the effects of "over spray".

With the toilet seat up, the overspray goes on the rim of the bowl and onto the floor. With the seat down, the overspray goes on the part you put your Butt on. So, for the sake of dry butts, men lift the seat.




3. are boogers nutritious? if they aren't i don't see many kids getting sick from it - i mean it's their own mucus? if they are, why is it so disgusting to watch my kids 'knuckle' up and dig one out? at least they don't eat them!

No, they are not nutritious. Sorry. Here's the story on boogers. Your nose pulls in particle from the air to determine their "smell signature". This is called Smelling...Oooh. (Very technical, I know). Imagine after just a few months of constant inhalation of particles, your know would be clogged with them. The nose has an efficient way of cleansing itself. By lining the nasal cavity with mucus, the particles are collect and encased in this mucus. This makes boogers. When the nose begins to fill to capacity (we'll call this Booger overload), the nose triggers an Automatic Spontaneous Ejection Protocol (sneeze), thus clearing the nasal passages. So boogers are made up of stuff the body already has (mucus), and stuff the body smells. Now if you spent hours smelling vitamin C, we might be onto something. More likely you are sniffing something nasty.

Picking is simply a way to keep the nose free between sneezes.

BUT why is watching someone "dig for gold" so nasty? Easy! Consider this. Have you EVER, EVER, in your LIFE see someone stick a finger inside their body and pull something out that WASN'T Nasty? Nope! You haven't. So when a little kid is going to town looking for Magic Nose Goblins, you know that no good can come from this. As a parent, you also know that when the discovery is made, little Magellan is not going to search for a tissue to hold his prize. That little sucker is going in one of three places.

1) On his sister
2) Flicked through the air at some one or some thing.
3) Hidden under a chair, on the wall, or some other place to use later for purposes 1 or 2 (above)



That's it for now! I'm patiently waiting for more questions!