Ask a Genius! (Part 2)

As a part of my "Ask a Genius!" series, I will answer all questions sent to me.
(Send questions to recon_ice@yahoo.com)

When I started this, I had one fear. That my cousin, who is probably the only person I know that IS smarter than I am, would send in a question. AND...... Within 2 hours, she sent seven! At least she sent in questions from her daughters. Whew! That could have been messy!

Here are the answers:


Since we don't have a chimney, how does Santa get in the house?--and he
doesn't come through the window or door because they're locked.

When Santa goes to deliver toys to a house with no chimney, a chimney and resulting fireplace magically appear! (See "The Santa Clause - 1994").

Another theory could be that Santa reduces the molecular bonds in his body to close up the distance between the atoms in his body. This would make him small enough to fit through any crevice in a home.

Why does my little miniature dacshund try to bite Gabe and Kelsey, but
let all other kids play with her?

Some say that animals can "sense" tenseness and unease in others. Dogs don't have ESP. However they do pay VERY close attention to body language, and can tell when a person is tense, uneasy, or otherwise acting in a way that could be a threat. This prompts a dog to act aggressively. If the children strolled right past the dog, barely noticing it, the dog probably wouldn't respond aggressively, if at all.

***Disclaimer: Miniature dachshunds are not really dogs.


Why does mom want me to flush the toilet every time I use it? And what
is it with always having to wash my hands?

Pee and Poop stink.

You don't really need to wash your hands. Germs train your immune system. (Although, a bathroom is FULL of little atoms of poop in the air and on every surface, and these atoms get on your hands so that when you touch food, you just put poop on your food. The choice is yours Wash hands = clean food, Dirty hands = poop food).

If I throw this string in the ceiling fan, what will happen?

Something REALLY COOL! The string could be thrown across the room, or wrapped around the motor! For something really awesome, try Jello!

Do you really have to feed your animals every day? What about the
fish?

No, you don't need the feed the animals every day. Animals can go for weeks or months without food depending on the animals body mass, type, and species. Although feeding the dog every day will go a long way to keeping it from digging in the trash.

Feed the fish to the dog. Problem solved.


Here's the ones you never wanted to hear--

Dad, what are tampons?

Tampons are missiles for paper airplanes.

How do you know how big your boobs are going to be? Cause I don't want
small ones or really big ones.

Just check the latest brochure from your nearest plastic surgeon. They can enlarge, reduce, change the shape, move to one side, etc. But little child, do not worry about size. The mere fact that you have boobs, any size, gives you enormous power over men. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility (and gets you out of speeding tickets).



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