Getting in Shape.

I havent' written a blog post in 2 years because I didn't have anything anyone would want to hear. I still don't. I do however, have something I need to say, whether anyone hears it or not.

I am out of shape. I used to be strong, fit, ready to fight. All because I had to, not because I wanted to. I have become fat and lazy. All because of fear. I am afraid. At some point, fear and pain won it's battle over me. Working out too much was more than I wanted to endure. Taking chances was not worth the effort. Competition and combat were to be avoided at all cost because a loss was invevitable. A lose would further erode my view of myself and my abilities. Each time I failed, I was greeted with more reassurance of why I should stop trying.

Each time I run, my body wants to stop, and I let it. Every time. Pushing through is just too much work. Excuse after excuse wells up inside me and becomes like music at a nightclub. The throbbing beats of why I can't or shouldn't do something, drowns out all other thoughts. There is comfort in not trying anymore.

Tomorrow I start Crossfit. I fear it. I fear it not because it is hard work. I fear it not because it is pain. I fear that I might test myself against it and be found weak once again. I feat it because it might mean more failure.

Tomorrow I start Crossfit. I will fail. I will hurt. I will keep going. I commit to myself, that no matter what, I will take at least one more step. Today, the fat lazy fearful man dies.

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorius triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.

-Theodore Roosevelt

Fun at the Gym

Have you ever made any public Faux Pas? Have you ever done anything that made you just want to crawl into a whole and die? Well, I make it a point to humiliate myself on a regular basis. I have begun to build up an immunity to embarassment.

My wife, however, is constantly humiliated by my actions for me. That seems kind of weird to me, but if she chooses to be embarassed, who am I to stand in her way. If I pick my nose in traffic, she is nice enough to be embarassed for me, so I don't have to be.

Getting to my story...

A little while ago, I had gotten up early to go to the gym. I arrived to find the gym pretty packed for 6:00am and I had to use an Elliptical machine surrounded by others. I like to make each workout count, so I got on, put on my earphones and cracked up the tunes. I ratcheted up the intensity and started working up a sweat.

About 20 minutes into my workout I noticed people glancing at me. I did a quick check to make sure I didn't have a hole in my pants or anything. I seemed to be all clear. I started becoming more and more aware of people staring at me, or at least glancing at me sideways.

Now, I'm a pretty darn good looking guy so I normally just think "Oh well, get a good look." I'm sure that staring at me probably makes some ladies' day, so who am I to rob them of that pleasure.

That's about the time when the music ran out on my iPod. As I kept walking on the machine, I fumbled with the iPod to restart the music. That's when I noticed that silent farts I had been slipping out (by the way, I fart when I work out.....normally silently) anyway, that's when I noticed my normally silent farts were actually quite loud. So aparently while I had iPod music blaring in my ears for the past 20 minutes, the people around me had been tuned into my own personal concert. Ooops.

Instead of embarassed, I found it really funny. It also turns out when I laugh, I fart as well. Also loud. Well, when I laughed, I also blew a snot bubble.

I guess the workout is over. Time to hit the showers.

I'm starting to see why Julie gets embarassed by me.

(Still funny though!)

Ask a Genius! (Part 4)

We are rolling now! More questions! More Answers.

Today's question is:

When I track what we spend on our kids for Christmas, do I include tax for each item? If so, how can I track that without getting bogged down in the details?

Yes, you should include tax when tracking what you have spent from your budget for each child. Otherwise you WILL overspend. If you have a $20 bill to buy gifts, and see 2 items for $9.99 each, you can't buy them both with that $20 bill. Same theory goes for your budget. Tax is money spent on gifts for that person, and should be deducted from their category. BUT if you go and spend $100 at Target and get a ton of gifts, HOW in the world do you split up the receipt?

The best idea would be to setup an Excel Spreadsheet that woudld do all the calculations for you. You could simply enter the price of each toy under that person's column and it would add in the tax for that item alone and subtract it from that person's Christmas Budget. Seems simple enough.

That is just what I have done. CLICK HERE to download a copy of the Excel spreadsheet. You must have MS Excel 97 or greater. Simply enter in your budget, and then the items you buy.

Rules for using my spreadsheet:
1) Don't spend more than you budget
2) Don't buy ANYTHING on credit.

Or else I will find you, come to your house and kick you in the shins. (Harsh I know, but I must be firm on these points). Please note that I have good shin-kickin' boots!